New Year, New Direction

My blog is changing again.

I've written this post in my head a hundred times, but I can't quite seem to make myself sit down and actually post it, for fear that I'll change my mind about how the blog is changing or that I won't be able to deliver on the proposed changes. You might have noticed I've changed my name to Behold & Reflect. It's a nod to 2 Corinthians 3:18, which talks about how as we continually gaze at Jesus, we become more and more His reflections. This is one of a handful of my "life verses;" like the others, it has stuck with me since high school, but its meaning and application has grown richer and deeper along the way. As my new name suggests, my blog will primarily chronicle my thoughts and experiences beholding Jesus and the reflections that spring from basking in His multi-faceted beauty. Specifically, I plan to explore prayer through personal experience, through interviewing passionate, prayerful souls from across the Christian spectrum, and, of course, by reading lots and lots of books. But while previous iterations of this blog were primarily a repository of book reviews with a little bit of random reflection sprinkled in, Behold & Reflect will prioritize my prayer experiments (exprayeriments!) and journalistic pursuits, with book reviews playing a secondary role.

How can you help me?
Though I've always enjoyed blogging for personal edification, it would be so, so much better if some of my praying friends would follow me and perhaps join in on the prayer exercises I hope to post each week. I'd love to hear your prayer stories. I'd love to learn about new ways to pray. I'd love to connect with people you know who know a thing or two about prayer. I'm interested in gathering stories from other sources and presenting a well-rounded narrative about Christian prayer. Will you join me?

Hatmaker's "For the Love": my new favorite book

The first thing you should know about this book and this author is that she's hilarious. If you're tired of boring and dry, this is the antidote. However, if you're like me and consider yourself a serious thinker, you might worry where the opening humor, light hearted self-deprecation and self-helpy prose are leading you. Happily, there's depth and wisdom and maturity bubbling beneath Hatmaker's big personality.

What's striking about pastor and popular blogger Jen Hatmaker's newest book For the Love: Fighting for Grace in a World of Impossible Standards is that she blends personal stories, theology, humor, and practical tips for child rearing, marriage and Christian community so seamlessly. There's even recipes for Roast Lamb and Pad Thai in there. In this way, it's somewhat like a blog. Yet all the parts send a cohesive message, which I think is summed up in these freeing words Hatmaker gives to her five children: "God measures our entire existence by only two things: how we love Him and how we love people. If you get this right, you can get a million other things wrong" (189).

I found something sacred in Rachel Held Evans' "Searching for Sunday"

I've been looking forward to Rachel Held Evans' new book Searching for Sunday: Loving, Leaving and Finding the Church for several months. Her excellent blog has challenged, affirmed and inspired me over the last few years. Books written by bloggers often read like scrapbooks of their greatest hits: A rehash of the post that went viral here, an astute observation from commenter Mary L. from Kansas there. Thankfully, Searching for Sunday is not that.

It is an honest, hopeful meditation on her disorienting drift away from her childhood church into the wilderness of doubt, then back to a renewed search for community and the discovery of Christ's Bride in unexpected places.

While many topics covered in her book have been discussed extensively on her blog, Evans resists recycling popular posts. Instead, the book benefits from her versatility as a blogger. Chapters like "Chubby Bunny" humorously relive Evans' childhood growing up small town Baptist. Chapters like "The Meal" showcase her training as a journalist as she interviews the pastor of an innovative, inner-city "dinner church" in New York. Chapters like "Trembling Giant" meditate on the awesome single organism that is an entire forest of quaking aspens in Fish Lake, Utah, as a metaphor for the universal church.  Still other chapters, like "Dust," stem from Evans' Bible college education, reading like beautiful sermons that explore stories from scripture.

Review of Donald Miller's "Scary Close"

As much as I like reading self-help and how-to, the most impactful life lessons seem to come from watching those I admire in their everyday moments or hearing their stories over a cup of tea. I think this is why I felt like I could learn so much from Blue Like Jazz author Donald Miller's newest book, Scary Close: Dropping the Act and Finding True Intimacy, which reads like a friend recounting poignant memories--some painful, some sweet. This might sound strange, but as I read, I got the feeling that if Miller could befriend my husband and I, he would. 

On the surface, this is a book about Miller's road to emotional health after years of failed relationships before he met his fiance (now wife). But it's really so much more than a book on how to marry the right person or to be the kind of person that snags a spouse or how to have a good marriage, though the principles could be applied to any of those pursuits. And, refreshingly, despite "intimacy" being in the subtitle, this is a Christian book on marriage, written by a man, that does not once mention sex (my husband was quick to point this out to me.) The intimacy Miller explores is the best kind of connection, honesty and closeness we can experience with our spouses, children, friends and even coworkers. He also writes a chapter on the "Five Kinds of Manipulators" to show the unhealthy behaviors we should avoid in ourselves and in potential relationships. Throughout the book, Miller's willingness to learn from others and to see himself as helpful to others has encouraged me to reframe my perception of my own relationships.

I finished the book feeling inspired by the many stories of healthy relationships and the insights gleaned from these examples. Between parents and children: Paul Young's story of rebuilding his family's trust after an affair had me in tears. Miller's picture of the relationship the Youngs have with their grown children now says it all: "In the past, when I've had dinner with them, I was surprised at how freely and openly they talked through whatever problem they were dealing with. It's as though their family was a refuge, a place where everybody could be themselves with no fear of being judged" (159).   Between husbands and wives: My favorite insight was Miller's musings on how his wife Betsy would not "complete him" a la Jerry Maguire. Instead, he writes that every human being has an eternal longing and thirst in their heart that will only be filled when Jesus returns. We can't expect even our closest relationship to fill that void, but we can enjoy experiencing that longing together with our spouse. There's also a bit where Miller writes up a business plan for his marriage that is way more awesome than it sounds. But I'm going to leave that as bait for you to get this book and read it with someone you love :)

It's not my habit to write glowing reviews without spending at least a paragraph or two on what I perceive as flaws in the book. So consider this my Valentine's Day present to the blogosphere. I truly enjoyed this book as a whole and am still musing, savoring and praying over its many facets.

*I would spend my own money on this book, but for the purposes of this review I received a free copy from the generous folks at BookLook in exchange for my honest opinion.*

"What Your Body Knows About God" author Q&A + GIVEAWAY!

I’m very excited to present a Q&A with Rob Moll about his new book, What Your Body Knows About God, in which he explores how current brain research uncovers our God-given need to connect deeply with each other and with God. The book weaves together both the intricacies of human physiology and personal experiences in an honest, approachable style. Rob is an editor-at-large with Christianity Today and serves World Vision as communications officer to the president. Rob, his wife Clarissa, and their four children live in the Seattle area. He also happens to be my childhood friend, and I have many fond memories of Wednesday night youth group hosted by his parents at their home. He’s generously and thoughtfully answered my many questions, so enjoy reading Rob’s responses below.

Emily: Who do you feel will benefit most from reading this book?

Rob: My main audience is Christians who want a deeper prayer life or those who are interested in the connection between science and faith. That's not really a demographic that you can identify with a pollster and target a book to, but I think a lot of Christians want a deeper connection to God through prayer. This book, I hope, is a fun and encouraging way to understand how we are designed for that kind of connection.

Emily: You did a boatload of research on brain chemistry and behavior, much of which you've featured in the first section of the book. Which studies' conclusions surprised you the most?

Rob: Reading Andrew Newberg's research on the brain and spirituality was key. One thing he found was that an area of the brain that is stimulated by prayer is also involved in social interaction. So people who pray can increase their sense of care for other people, their compassion. For me it was astounding to read this research that said loving God helps you to love your neighbor, which as Jesus said, are the two greatest commandments.

Emily: One of the most powerful chapters in your book for me was when you described Clarissa's crisis of health, which almost tipped you toward a crisis of faith in your thesis that God perfectly designed us to connect with him and other believers. What has helped most to restore your confidence?

Rob Moll, author of What Your Body Knows About God 
Photo by Alissa Clark

Rob: Learning how God has also designed us to respond to suffering. Yes, our bodies are often broken. As healthy as prayer and spirituality are, it isn't a magic formula for everything going perfectly. Things go wrong, and we are designed to respond to people's suffering. My favorite study was one that sought to determine which of two different treatments would best help MS suffers. It turned out that the MS suffers who provided the treatments were helped the most! Helping others, we help ourselves.

Emily: To rewire our brains for the better, you argue for regular, focused times of prayer. You've also shared your own habit of praying quietly as your children drift off to sleep. Do you have encouragement for other harried parents of young children who long to spend time with God, but struggle to do it regularly?

Rob: I was complaining once to a friend about all the demands of being a parent, and she told me, "Well, it makes you holy." I try to embrace that. Spirituality isn't only in the quiet moments and special times with God. Spirituality is also the work of parenting. Our goal isn't to feel peaceful with God, our purpose is to be like Christ. Find the time you can to talk with God; quiet yourself when you have the opportunity. But remember that God gave you those children too, and he is with you as you parent.  

Emily: In the second part of the book, you focus on the importance of spiritual disciplines such as multi-sensory worship and acts of service. Can you describe some other disciplines you and Clarissa practice on a regular basis? 

Rob: Sometimes, I need to change my perspective and see what I'm already doing as a discipline and sometimes I try to add a small ritual to my life. We read children's devotional books to the kids every night. We have a weekly prayer group at our house. We try to say the evening prayer from the Book of Common Prayer on a regular basis. I try to fast in some form during Lent.  I have been wanting to memorize Scripture, but that's been difficult for me.

Emily: You dedicated this book to several youth leaders from your past who helped you learn to pray. Having grown up in the same church movement as you, I know the Anglican tradition is in many ways very different, yet you seem to treasure aspects of both. Can you describe your former church's approach to the spiritual disciplines vs. your current church's approach? How do they differ and what have your learned/gained from each?

Rob: Yes, the church movement I grew up in was very "low church" compared to even a low church Anglican congregation. However, my church growing up did teach me to pray in a deep and intentional way, something that isn't really taught in many churches today. I learned to focus my mind in a way that I could be present with God. The Anglican tradition creates this kind of space in its services, too. While it isn't spontaneous in the same way as what I grew up with, it still allows for the Holy Spirit to guide our thoughts through a structured service that becomes very meaningful.

Emily: What do you hope pastors and church leaders take away from your points about genuine community and spiritual disciplines? How should the studies you've presented inform the way church leaders minister to or guide their flocks?

Rob: Our connection to other people is an absolutely essential part of our spiritual life. We need churches that connect us to others, not ones that put on a show. Too often our churches are more geared toward attracting attendees than creating disciples. Smaller churches with better connections produce more active, engaged, committed Christians. They grow faster and have more converts. People who are more connected socially give more and volunteer more.

If you enjoyed Rob's insights here, be sure to check out What Your Body Knows About God, as well as Rob’s first book, The Art of Dying. For a chance to win your very own copy, comment below to be entered in my drawing! Unlike most of my ways to lure traffic to the blog, this give-away is open to anyone in the continental U.S. :)

Review of "From Tablet to Table" by Leonard Sweet

I'm a foodie and a storyteller, so I was delighted to read Leonard Sweet's From Tablet to Table, in which he argues that God incarnate invites us to find our identity (how we fit into His story) and true community around the dinner table in our homes, churches and in the world.

This is a little book with ample white space and font size. For that reason, it was easy on the eyes and easy to gobble up the 162 pages in three sittings.  Sweet's poetic writing style and constant word play around the metaphor of the table also drew me in and played in my mind like a charismatic preacher's sermon-- not surprisingly, since Sweet is the lead writer of Sermons.com.

In the first half of the book, Sweet establishes the superiority of the table over the tablets of law for nourishing and imparting God's story into our hearts. Jesus, he argues, was very interested in what was for dinner. He taught not from a pulpit, but while reclining at table with friends, inviting himself to dinner with sinners, providing a mountainside meal to thousands. The predominant "narraphor" of the entire Bible, Sweet argues, is God preparing a table before us.

Besides being inspirational, there's also a good bit of practicality in these pages. Sweet provides rapid fire statistics from modern secular studies that have shown that frequent family dinners around a table are the biggest factor in boosting children's intelligence, compassion, vocabulary and future academic success and in preventing drug-use, obesity, eating disorders and suicidal thoughts. The mom in me was convinced, and the journalist in me was especially pleased at Sweet's extensive source list at the back of the book.

The second part of the book explores how we can continue to do table in remembrance of Jesus in our homes, in churches and while loving our neighbors outside the church. At this point, I was hoping for rich stories of real people with vibrant table time in each of these settings. Instead, I felt Sweet focused too heavily on the perils of modern life, in which children eat Big Macs while playing games on the iPad and where "two bodies eating together at the same table but on different planets in mind and spirit" (90) is a frequent restaurant scene.

To combat our struggles with the tide of the age, Sweet employs his table metaphor as a panacea. To any problem, he urges, "Table it. Table everything" (124). Yet, as much as I agree that the table promises a sacred time and space for family bonding, I don't quite know what that looks like (for me) practically. If I'm having trouble herding my three little children and busy husband to the table, if no one likes eating the same foods and if everyone is hungry at different times, how does "tableing it" solve my problem? How do I even get everyone to the table?

But, to be fair, this isn't that book. This is the anthem, the love song to true communion, growth, and transformation around the table. And Sweet eventually permits that could be a metaphoric table. As long as people are in the habit of eating together and truly connecting with those with whom they're eating, Jesus will be the food and the drink. While this book does not lay out a tablet of rules or the "7 steps to better family dinners," I find my heart is both fed and hungry for life at my Lord's table.

*Many thanks to Tyndale for sending me a complimentary copy of this book in exchange for my honest review.*