Marie Kondo's "Spark Joy" treats all items as worthy of gratitude and respect

Marie Kondo's new book, Spark Joy, is meant as a companion guide to her best-selling The Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up with practical advice on folding clothing, filing papers, organizing hobby goods and storing kitchen gear. To this end, the book is full of hand drawn how-to illustrations. Kondo also infuses the book with philosophy and approaches these mess magnets while valuing aesthetics and emotion as well as utility.

Let me get all my reservations out of the way and end the post on the plentiful positive notes contained in Spark Joy.

I think the most striking thing to me throughout this book, besides the lovely title, is Kondo's religious or spiritual approach to non-living things. While the book is not overtly religious, an animist worldview saturates the popular Japanese tidying guru's KonMari way. Christians should be aware of this before investing themselves in the nitty gritty of Kondo's method.

For example, when discarding an item that is no longer needed or no longer "sparks joy" as it's held close to the heart, Kondo offers a moment of gratitude to the object itself and thanks it for its service. One anecdote recalls Kondo and her father bowing to a plush dog during their impromptu memorial service for the once adored but eventually allergenic stuffed animal. It sounds like the stuff of sitcoms, but Kondo relates this story sincerely.

As I get older, the lines between physical and spiritual have blurred and bled. But I draw a bright line at attributing a spirit to non-living things.

Reflections on Brene Brown's "The Gifts of Imperfection"

This little book caught my attention with its lengthy title, The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You're Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are: Your Guide to a Wholehearted Life. I'd heard that Brene Brown conducts thousands of interviews to find common themes and patterns among those that lead what she calls "wholehearted" - fulfilling, happy, intentional, present lives- and those who don't.

This book presents sage advice teased out of all these interviews, tightly packed into 10 "guideposts" on the path to wholehearted living, including self-helpy suggestions like cultivating self-compassion and creativity, Christian virtues like gratitude and joy and somewhat surprising suggestions like taking time to laugh, sing and dance each day. Though it's not a parenting book, Brown uses examples from her own life and her sometimes fragile balancing act as a working mother. I found myself contemplating my parenting more than any other aspect of my life as I read, largely because I see my own worst behavior in my children on those particularly imperfect parenting days. An idea shared by many authors of parenting advice books, Brown believes "where we are on our journey of living and loving with our whole hearts is a much stronger indicator of parenting success than anything we can learn from how-to books."

Some additional quotes from Gifts of Imperfection I've been chewing on:
Avoid wasting time on guilty pleasures... or addictions:

"In another very unexpected discovery, my research also taught me that there’s no such thing as selective emotional numbing. There is a full spectrum of human emotions and when we numb the dark, we numb the light."

The trap of comparison: 

"At first it seems like conforming and competing are mutually exclusive, but they’re not. When we compare, we want to see who or what is best out of a specific collection of 'alike things.'"
"The comparison mandate becomes this crushing paradox of “fit in and stand out!” It’s not cultivate self-acceptance, belonging and authenticity; it’s be just like everyone else, but better."

The importance of creativity:

"There’s no such thing as creative people and non-creative people. There are only people who use their creativity and people who don’t."
"The only unique contribution that we will ever make in this world will be born of our creativity."

Getting off the hamster wheel:

"If we want to live a Wholehearted life, we have to become intentional about cultivating sleep and play, and about letting go of exhaustion as a status symbol and productivity as self-worth."

In conclusion...

I liked the suggestions in this book. It's easily digestible, and most of the guideposts resonated with me. However, I found myself wondering "how to I actually do this? And how do I even remember to do all these things? And if I did do all these things, wouldn't I be perfect?" throughout much of it. While Brown's personal experiences were helpful and humorous, I craved some of the contents of those thousands of interviews with these mystical "wholehearted" people. I wanted to hear more of those success stories, to peer into their lives and see the guideposts in action. Obviously, this would be a different book altogether, and my craving probably couldn't be satisfied, as the contents of Brown's interviews are probably confidential. I don't doubt that she did find these patterns of behaviors and thoughts through out her careful research and analysis, but seeing some of the raw data would have been helpful to me. Perhaps I need to start collecting some stories myself.

Words can hurt or heal with Rosemary Wells

Stephen and I really enjoyed Rosemary Well's newest book, Stella's Starliner, which tucks a deep message into a sweet, sparkling picture book. I grabbed it off the library shelf because I grew up with Wells and I thought from the title this one might include some imaginary space travel. Actually, the story is mostly grounded on earth, with one fantastic sky travel scene in the middle. But I still highly recommend this one!

Stella is not rich in material possessions, but has a life rich with pancake breakfasts, farmer's markets, bookmobile visits and weekend fishing trips. Her compact but practical trailer home is replete with fun hiding places and novelties like a sofa that converts to a bed with the touch of a button. Cherished by her mom and dad, Stella feels secure in knowing she "had everything she needed in her silver home." It seems nothing can shake her idyllic childhood until a band of sneering weasel bullies berates poor Stella and her silver home. Their jokes "stung Stella's heart like the sting of bees." (After just one read through this book, Steve recited that line back to me in a very serious voice.) I always thought that the old rhyme about sticks and stones and words that can never hurt me was unhelpful, especially when it seems that words are what can most damage a tender heart. In Stella's case, the weasel's jibes pricked so deeply she couldn't eat or sleep that night.

I won't give away the ending, which, of course, is a happy one. The message of this story? Just as cruel words can cause people to see their glasses half empty, some encouragement can set things right. Always on the look out for books that promote simplicity, I was happy to find another book can help children see that happiness is not in wealth, having stuff or pleasing everyone. It also promotes loving family relationships, finding joy in the little things and speaking positively. So go out and get Stella's Starliner, and start talking with your pre-K to early elementary students.

Review of "Clutterfree with Kids"

As a mom of three boys, I read Joshua Becker's Clutterfree with Kids hoping to gain insight into pairing down our household possessions to the essential and limiting the influx of gifts from well-meaning relatives each holiday and birthday. The author is sort of a minimalist guru who runs popular blog, becomingminimalist.com. Becker seemed to echo other writings on simplicity with familiar ideas, such as: own less to live more, value relationships over things, be free of debt, live below your means, and treasure the simple things in life.

Clutterfree is arranged into three sections: 1) Change Your Thinking, 2) Discover New Habits and 3) Free Your Life. The first and third sections are predominantly philosophical. The middle section gets more practical with chapters on various areas of life that tend toward clutter: toys, clothes, artwork, sentimental items, collections, screens, photos, gifts, packing, schedules and baby gear. Each of these chapters begins with an anecdote about a mom who learned to de-clutter that particular area before launching into general suggestions for controlling clutter.

After reading the roughly 200 double-spaced pages, I was disappointed that I didn't find any really new or innovative ideas to help me build on my already minimalist-leaning ideology. I also found the writing to be sometimes repetitious and scattered, like a compilation of bullet points converted into a series of short, loosely connected paragraphs. A sprinkling of typos and style issues made the text appear a little cluttered to this former copy editor. But normal people probably won't find these detractors as irksome as I did!

On the plus side, the book’s strength is in motivating readers to reject their own consumerist and materialistic tendencies, creating a minimalist mindset that should, ideally, trickle down to the children they parent. Many of the ideas in this book weren't necessarily kid-specific; however, I agree with Becker's view that if the parents change, the kids will learn through their example. Throughout the book, he reiterates principles for simplifying life by focusing on relationships and the gifts money can't buy, such as contentment, generosity, curiosity and imagination. While all of this certainly resonated with me, I can't say I had any epiphanies. Some of his suggestions did illuminate the fact that Joe and I actually already make a lot of minimalist choices: we don't own a TV, we buy clothing only to replace something that has worn out, we encourage our boys to go outside rain or shine, and we make a habit of giving money, time and hospitality to others.

In sum, I can appreciate and promote Becker’s message: Living clutter-free is not about having a beautiful home that is the envy of all your neighbors. In fact, the final chapter is devoted to warning readers against the pitfalls of envy and comparison. Eliminating clutter means breaking free from the bondage of “stuff” and giving yourself the mental and physical space to really focus on relationships with those you love.

Review of "Slow Family Living"

My life is anything but slow. Between cooking, cleaning, clothing, diapering, wiping, burping, bathing, transporting, disciplining and putting to bed (sometimes multiple times) three children, there's not a lot of time to "take four slow deep breaths" as blogger Bernadette Noll suggests in the third mini-chapter of this book. But I do long for a life that isn't so frenzied and so driven by our be-busy-or-be-worthless culture. I want to live intentionally and to savor the truly important bits of motherhood. The title of this book, "Slow Family Living," seems to borrow vocabulary from the Slow Food Movement-- an effort to cook and eat fresh, locally grown and organic produce and to use techniques that hearken from a slower, simpler time. I thought Noll's book might be the parenting version of slow foods, but its is less about doing family the slow, old-fashioned way and more a collection of 75 activities, questionnaires and exercises to refocus your attentions on your family and to make the members of your family the centerpiece in everything you do in daily life.

The 75 ideas in this book fell into a few categories for me.

Things I liked and can imagine implementing:
#10 Listen with Your Heart Open - Really listening to your kids/spouse without interjecting.
#15 High Point-Low Point - Before bed, review the day and ask them their best and worst moments.
#16 The Blitz: A Family Tidy Up - Set a timer for 15 minutes of whole-family frenzied cleaning of the house.
#17 Spend Nothing Day - Just what it sounds like. 
#27 Do-Over - Train kids (and yourself) to request a "do-over" when you hear yourself say something unkind.
#36 Just Ten Extra Minutes - Plan 10 extra minutes into every activity or transition so that you don't have to hurry around like a madwoman herding cats.
#42 Sigh. Forgive. Let Go. Move On. - Again, pretty self-explanatory.
#55 Out with the Old - Each member of the family gets rid of one thing each day in December leading up to Christmas.

Things we already do:
#22 Go Outside and Play - Everyday above freezing, and sometimes below freezing, our boys are out there.
#34 Keeping a Family Journal - I think my other blog, The Daily Munchie, counts for this.
#63 Dance Party Rock Band - We call ours a "Robot Dance Party" and play Daft Punk. 
#68 DEAR (Drop Everything and Read) Time - I really had no idea this was a thing. And with a clever acronym to boot!
#71 Don't Sweep Until the Rice Dries - Except in my house, it's don't sweep until the macaroni has dried and been stepped on enough times to dislodge it from the floor.

Things I'd like to do in the future, but feel like it borders on wishful thinking:
#23 Camp Out at Home - Pitch a tent in the backyard on a weeknight. 
#50 A Night in the Park - Noll's family meets weekly with three other families at a local park to eat, chat and play the night away. I hope our family could be so blessed some day.

Stuff I just don't really want to do:
#9 Dropping Love Bombs - Kind of the group hug equivalent of dinging your glass at a wedding. Just not my thing.
#65 The Family Lemonade Stand - Or not.
#67 Freaky Friday - I hate that kind of movie, so I can only imagine the discomfort reenacting it with my children would bring.

OK, so I just summarized a quarter of the book for you :) Now a few minor criticisms: I think if you are drawn to a book called "Slow Family Living," you'll find that the concepts in this book will reinforce your parenting philosophy, but won't necessarily lend any earth-shattering new insights. You might also be frustrated if you don't have ready access to things like Noll's hometown of Austin, TX, readily offers, like a corner store within walking distance or plentiful public parks. (But, maybe if one is serious about slow family living, moving to a location that makes it possible is a serious consideration?) I also found some of the suggestions were a little too touchy-feely, pop-psychology for my personal tastes. Noll's writing style was also a tiny bit of a distraction for me, as she ends most chapters with a chirpy cliche like: "That's a win-win-win!" or "And who doesn't need more love?"  But I'd probably like her better in person than in print. Overall I recommend this book to someone looking for ideas to help enjoy family life more. I found that reading Noll's suggestions got me in the frame of mind to keep trying new things with my family to see what can help me connect more fully despite this frenetic age.

Purpose-driven simplicity: Some thoughts on "Organized Simplicity"

So the book I was trying to find when I found Richard Foster's "Freedom of Simplicity," was Tsh Oxenreider's Organized Simplicity, which I've borrowed from the library and am reading now.

Despite the shared keyword "simplicity," these two books are worlds apart: one written by a theologian, the other by a homeschooling homemaking maven and blogger. Yet, if I were to draw up a Venn diagram, there is actually quite a bit of overlap between the two books. Both authors are Christian, both advocate not buying in to the materialistic, debt-inducing culture of "more," both argue that busyness isn't a sign of success, and both urge a single, unified purpose in all we do. Oxenreider views this purpose as something a married couple should determine together for their entire family, and to even draw up a formal family purpose statement to serve as a reminder of that "true north."  While Foster's book is written for hungry, "meat"-eating Christians, Oxenreider tries to appeal to a broader audience by leaving life's ultimate purpose open ended. 

While my husband initially chaffed against the idea of writing up a mission statement, I liked the idea of pondering what kind of memories I want my three boys to have of their childhoods. I want to consider what traits, values and even culture I want to leave them as a legacy. Figuring out what should make our little Parrino clan unique goes a long way toward actually making deliberate decisions and actions toward becoming what we envision. And that leads to a simpler life as we shed obligations, time commitments, and material possessions that run counter to our purpose. So, I decided to try my hand at jotting down some dreams for my family. I have not arrived at the concise mission statement stage yet-- and to be honest, I might not ever if I can't bring Joe around to the idea of it-- but at least my scattered wishful thought are starting to take shape as a more complete vision for how our family should operate. 

Just for fun, I'll share my hopes with the blogosphere:

I want to...

• Cook with my boys once a week
• Send them outside to play every day that's dry and above freezing
• Cultivate daily journaling once they're able to write
• Read Bible and pray before bed
• Go on monthly daddy-son or mommy-son dates with each boy
• As soon as Stephen can drive, pay for he and Rockam to grab dinner together
• As soon as Rockam can drive, do the same for Oliver
• World travel, possibly alternating years with Joe and each boy
• Create a culture of giving over getting or wanting
• Weekly evening unplugged to read or create
• Each son can have one extracurricular of his choice at a time
• We'll appreciate nature and art
• We'll delve into history and geography
• We'll appreciate and accept other Christian traditions, taking note of the true, lovely and noble in other believers
• We prize creativity, humility and sincerity 
• Holidays will center on meaningful, historically accurate, spiritual and fun activities-- not on consumerism or excessive gluttony.
• We'll all learn to budget and give away money
• We'll champion the oppressed
• We'll respect and honor women
• We'll nurture a servant heart and love our neighbors
• We'll entertain dinner guests weekly and treat them generously and ask them lots of questions 
• We'll try new foods and value healthy eating
• We'll fast and find ways to experience solidarity with oppressed people groups
• We'll get comfortable praying together
• We'll hike, picnic, explore and camp
• We'll live abroad for a season

Feedom of Simplicity: A Money Experiment

As I mentioned Sunday, I wanted to take some time to mention some of Foster's specific proposals for living a simpler, more God-centered life. I was surprised how specific he got in the second half of the book. Indeed, Foster himself cautions readers not to seize on any of his proposals as rules by which to judge or control others. He warns against "our tendency to turn any expression of our simplicity into a new legalism. How quickly we calcify what should always remain alive and changing." Yet, in his defense, the author says that to resist laying down any practical guidelines means we reinforce the legalism of the status quo. New Testament writers like the apostle Peter felt the liberty to address issues of their time and culture (braided hair and fancy robes anyone?) as excesses unbecoming for a Christian. Just as Peter spoke to particulars of his day, "our task is to discern what constitute ostentatious elitism today, and speak to that situation" and to "walk the narrow path of precision without legalism."

I thought I could just clack out a round up of practical tips I gleaned from this book, but I've been working on this post for a couple of hours now (with numerous interruptions from the littles) and I think I might just have to digest this book more gradually over several posts. Foster launches a discussion of specific financial steps we can take toward simplicity with the topic of voluntary poverty. This was a little jarring, even from where I sat reading in my modest starter home and stained decade-old sofa. Foster said that choosing to live with nothing was akin to pulling off the Band-Aid all at once. It hurts, but then once you're free of possessions, you don't really have to think about what to keep or give away. Simplicity, right? Of course, this lifestyle, adopted by Francis of Assisi and Mother Teresa, needs to be born out of a specific calling from God. So, for the rest of us, Foster proposes:

A tiny experiment in voluntary poverty that many of us could do with genuine profit as God prompts us. We can go through our home, find one possession that we value, and consider, "Am I growing too attached to this object? Is it becoming a treasure to me?" Having examined our hearts before the Lord, let us give it away. We must not rationalize by saying, "But after searching my heart I know that it is clearly not a treasure to me, and so I don't need to give it away." If it is truly not our treasure, we will not mind in the least giving it away; and if it has become our treasure, we will want to give it away for our soul's sake. Also we will pray for the person who receives our little gift, that it will be a blessing, and not a hindrance, to his or her walk with God.

So, my immediate thought is that this little experiment, if applied to everything we own, would ultimately lead to voluntary poverty as every item we own is either a treasure to be severed or not a treasure and therefore easy to give a way! But I decided to try it anyway.

 A couple of weeks ago, I wrote a review of Becoming, the magazine Bible for women, and mentioned that I planned to give it away. Well, I'm ashamed to say it has sat on a little table in my living room ever since. It is clearly not a treasure to me, and yet, I never took deliberate steps to give it away, as I felt moved to do! Happily, my good friend, Tracey, is coming over after work to pick up the bible and bring it to jail with her, where she ministers to women hungry for God. I'm praying that this magazine, thick with simple articles and scripture, will feed one or many women-- I believe that the Spartan environment in the jail makes many of them hungry to read.



So, my next tiny "experiment" is a little different. I've decided to forgo buying Stephen's kindergarten pictures. I take tons of photos of all three of my sons, many of which can be seen on one of my other blogs, The Daily Munchie. I was filling out the envelope for the photos, due today no less, when I realized that I don't have to purchase a photo package. It's not a sign I don't love my son or want to capture memories of him at each milestone. And my relatives won't love me any less if I give them candid shots of my sons instead of the posed, somewhat awkward portrait the professional took. Now, don't get me wrong, I like to support local businesses and believe that artists, like portrait photographers, do important work. But I decided to listen this time and to get into the "divine Center," and I found out I don't need to possess those photos after all.

Refections on "Freedom of Simplicity" (Part 1)

I've mentioned in previous posts my interest in simplicity. Lately, I've been pondering how I can simplify my life, pare down my possessions and live more purposefully. Over the last year or so, I've also been grappling with social justice and how to live a good life without diminishing the lives of others.

I stumbled upon Richard J. Foster's Freedom of Simplicity: Finding Harmony in a Complex World while searching my library's ebook catalog for another book with "simplicity" in its title. I devoured this book in three days and feel like God must have arranged it that way!

"Freedom of Simplicity," despite being originally penned in the late 80s, felt so current and resonant to me. Foster spends the first portion of the book putting the idea of simplicity within the context of discipleship and seeking the kingdom of God first. He emphasizes the need for having a single eye for Christ (Matt 6:22) and striving to find ourselves in Him, or in obedience to the "Divine Center," as he puts it. The author takes readers on a whirlwind tour of Christians through out history who practiced the spiritual discipline of simplicity to show that intentional living and Christian minimalism aren't new concepts. I found myself highlighting the names of theses saints who went before, eager to learn and read more about their lives.

After a rather lengthy disclaimer that simplicity will look different for each individual based on the specific place, time and ministry in which God has placed them, Foster takes a risk and opens up a world of specific examples of what simplicity might look like in our lives. He touches on the culture of consumerism, materialism, busyness in order to be approved by others, unsustainable habits, exaggerated speech, social injustice and environmental destruction, all of which prevent Christians from a simple, single, effective walk with Christ.

I won't lie, some of his proposals made me squirm... especially the chapter on finances, but through it all, I felt my heart nodding slowly in agreement. I want to unpack some of the things Foster writes in my next post and some of my own ideas spurred by the practical suggestions he offers for living blamelessly in the world, but not of it. I would love to get together with some good friends and digest this book in community... anyone interested?

Peggielene Bartels: A modern-day servant king

This week I checked out the kindle version of "King Peggy: An American Secretary, Her Royal Destiny, and the Inspiring Story of How She Changed an African Village."

King Peggy and her co-author Eleanor Herman

I devoured this book via the Kindle app on my phone -- mostly at midnight while nursing baby Ollie-- in about three days. It's an easy read and an engaging tale of an unassuming naturalized American who works tirelessly as a secretary in the Ghanaian Ambassador's office. Peggy has few friends and spends her evenings "not watching the news" as she eats her take out meals on the couch. Because it keeps her from dwelling on past heartbreak and unfulfilled dreams, the long hours and tedium don't bother Peggy. Then one day she gets a phone call that gives her a chance to shake up her monotonous life and redeem her destiny. The voice on the other line is a distant cousin, with news that her mother's brother, the king of the small fishing village of Otuam, has "gone into the village to cure himself" for good and that she has been chosen as the late king's successor.

Peggy's seemingly insurmountable struggle to bring clean water, education and financial stability to her hometown -- all on a shoestring secretary's salary and in the grinning faces of her corrupt elder council-- is a huge feat that inspires and empowers. Her story, reported in the news before this book was published, had in fact empowered churches and individuals to contribute to Peggy's many causes.

I love that the protagonist of this story had such pure motives despite being elevated to the level of royalty. She took on the post not to be somebody, but to do something, even to the ruination of her perfect credit and the complete draining of her bank account. She wanted to make changes that would do the most good for the most people- such as installing new public bore holes to provide the town with fresh water.

The book also provides a window into African life, which I knew very little about. People in Peggy's part of Ghana are content to wile away the hot hours in conversation, eat a diet of fish and fresh vegetables, and do hard physical labor well into their 70s and 80s. It made me long for a little bit of slow paced simplicity that characterizes her fishing town. Peggy's observations on the Ghanaian and American cultures were insightful-- especially her musing about Americans' obsession with electronic devices rendering us isolated and unable to communicate with each other. (Oh the irony as I read and am reviewing this book on my iPhone) Also eye-opening was the book's portrayal of Ghanaian family culture: close knit, loyal and peace-seeking. However, the extent of the corrupt and chauvinistic culture revealed throughout the story made me glad to be in America after all.

As an Evangelical Christian, I was keenly interested in the book's portrayal of Peggy's blended religion. The locals (and at times Peggy) blend animism with ancestor worship and Christianity in their daily life.  For example, Peggy often prays to God and to Jesus, but she's also in the habit of praying to her beloved late mother, often asking her to put in a good word to Jesus for her. In order to curry favor with the ancestors, Peggy pours libations on her condo's floor with enough regularity that the wood stain begins to seep up and stain her light colored carpet. To be honest, some of her superstitious beliefs and inspiring yet spooky encounters with the spirit world made me squirm a little. But overall, I came away feeling that Peggy is a good role model for anyone who wants to love people like Christ does-- with actions, sacrifice and humility. She is a king who uses her position to be the chief servant of Otuam.

In addition to being uplifting and thought provoking, the book is also laugh out loud hilarious. I was tickled by Peggy's inner monologues, her rehearsed rebuffs to the elders' shenanigans and her imagined dialogues with the painted chickens running around the village. The book is replete with colorful imagery that put me right in the story.

If you're looking for a page-turner about a real person who has done, and is still doing, big things, I highly recommend "King Peggy."

Children's books that promote simplicity in a materialistic world

Recently, I stumbled upon a study conducted by a University of Vermont student who analyzed how 30 award-winning and best-selling children's picture books promote materialism to young readers. It got me thinking about the books that I've been reading to my own children, aged 5 and 2.5. It's true that a good many books focus on "stuff," and how great it is to obtain more stuff. So I wanted to highlight just a couple of books we've read in the last few months that present a different message:

The Biggest House in the World

by Leo Lionni

I'm a big fan of Leo Lionni. My mom read him to me when I was little... and I've bought just about every title for my three boys. Lionni's illustrations are always captivating. The storylines are always simple. And the messages are usually just the sort of lesson I want to teach my kids. In this case, a little snail longs for a bigger, better house until he hears the fable of an older, wiser snail about a snail who spent his all to create an outlandishly huge and beautiful shell. The house was big and beautiful enough to draw the attention of other garden creatures, but the snail was unable to move and eventually the snail was "left behind, and with nothing to eat he slowly faded away. Nothing remained but the house. And that too, little by little, crumbled, until nothing remained at all." After hearing the tragic end, the little snail proclaims he'll keep his own shell light and spend his life exploring the world. I think this message of valuing adventures more than things helps combat materialism by showing how the quest for more stuff keeps us from truly enjoying life.

Blackout

by John Rocco

I discovered this book at our local library. The dramatic cover drew me in, and it doesn't hurt that it sports a Caldecott Honor medal on the front. The illustrations and text are set up almost comic book style, telling the story of a typical urban family of four in frames. A little child-- I can't quite tell if the kid is a boy or girl-- seeks partners to play a board game, only to find that Dad is busy cooking, Sister is on the phone, and Mom is clacking away at the computer. Suddenly, the lights go out in their apartment building and across the city. The summer heat drives the family to the roof of their building and eventually to the streets, which have become vibrant with candlelit conversations, communion and celebration of the simple pleasures of the city at night. Eventually the lights come back on and everyone returns to their original occupations, but the little child turns out the lights and the family happily comes together to play the board game. This book is valuable because it shows a situation to which most families can relate. Technology and busyness keep us from connecting with the ones we love... and sometimes an imposed "fast" from these distractions is all it takes to regain the joy of spending quality time together. My boys also enjoyed the story and requested it a few nights in a row.