Metaxas' "Seven Women" leaves many secrets to greatness a bit of a mystery

After reading best-selling evangelical biographer Eric Metaxas' 7 Men, I was so happy to see an excerpted chapter about Corrie Ten Boom for his then-upcoming 7 Women and the Secret of Their Greatness. Overall, this book has introduced me to the remarkable, difficult, impacting lives of seven women, some of whom I knew very little about. And, as with any book that includes stories of far-flung missionaries, holocaust survivors and martyrs, I was left pondering my own life's work.

And I was left with questions. Lots of them. Like, what is greatness, exactly? Is it maintaining your convictions to the end, like Joan of Arc? Is it a general measure of one's faithfulness, skill, or impact on others? Or is greatness something specific, like ministering to hundreds of thousands like Mother Teresa? Or like using one's God-given gifts to turn the tide of public opinion against institutionalized evil like Hannah More? Or simply learning to forgive staggering wrongs, like Corrie Ten Boom? Or is it all of these, in the form of doing what you alone can do in your unique situation in time and place with your unique set of characteristics and abilities and weaknesses? If you're familiar with my approach to life, you'll know I prefer the latter, open-ended possibility. I think in many ways, since Metaxas never really tries to synthesize all seven stories into one central "secret of womanly greatness," he might agree with or at least permit my foggy conclusion. For this reason, I found the book a worthwhile read.

Review of Metaxas' "7 Men"

I was excited to get a paperback copy of Eric Metaxas' celebration of Christian role models 7 Men and the Secret of Their Greatness for two reasons. Regular readers of my blog know I'm a bit of a feminist, but I'm also mom to three boys and I want them to aspire to the best kind of life. Second, I enjoyed reading Metaxas' 600-page biography of German theologian and martyr Dietrich Bonhoeffer two summers ago. While I highly recommend getting to know this hero of the faith and the aforementioned tome, 7 Men is far easier read, which provides a primer on Bonhoeffer as well as inspiring chapters on George Washington, British abolitionist William Wilberforce, Olympic runner Eric Liddell, baseball player Jackie Robinson, Pope John Paul II and Prison Fellowship founder Chuck Colson. In seven miniature biographies, Metaxas showcases each man's personal faith in Jesus the centerpiece and secret to their enduring influence.

For me, the first half of Washington's chapter was the hardest to read. Our nation's father struck me as an entitled social climber with a shocking lack of compassion in some early battles. But eventually, I was impressed that Metaxas could transform the "grumpy grandfather" he appears to be on the dollar bill to a valiant hero who not only fought for our country's independence, but also the subtler battle against pride in order to birth a democracy. My favorite chapters, Eric Liddell's and Jackie Robinson's stories, moved me to tears. The protagonist of the 1980s blockbuster Chariots of Fire, Metaxas aptly argues, lived a life far more amazing after his Olympic victory as a missionary in China. As the first black baseball player to enter the major league, Robinson's ability to take the brunt of racist backlash scorn and abuse, all without retaliation, struck me as truly supernatural.

Readers should know that each story is clearly filtered through the Metaxas' lens as both a Christian and unabashed fan of each of these men. Some might find that the author's insertion of himself into each chapter detracts from the stories, but I felt that each story was really inspiring enough to make up for this slight drawback.  I recommend this book to anyone looking for historic Christian role models. And I eagerly await the release of 7 Women, which is excerpted (a bio of Corrie ten Boom) at the back of this book.

*I received a copy of this book from BookLook Bloggers in exchange for my honest review.*

Review of Donald Miller's "Scary Close"

As much as I like reading self-help and how-to, the most impactful life lessons seem to come from watching those I admire in their everyday moments or hearing their stories over a cup of tea. I think this is why I felt like I could learn so much from Blue Like Jazz author Donald Miller's newest book, Scary Close: Dropping the Act and Finding True Intimacy, which reads like a friend recounting poignant memories--some painful, some sweet. This might sound strange, but as I read, I got the feeling that if Miller could befriend my husband and I, he would. 

On the surface, this is a book about Miller's road to emotional health after years of failed relationships before he met his fiance (now wife). But it's really so much more than a book on how to marry the right person or to be the kind of person that snags a spouse or how to have a good marriage, though the principles could be applied to any of those pursuits. And, refreshingly, despite "intimacy" being in the subtitle, this is a Christian book on marriage, written by a man, that does not once mention sex (my husband was quick to point this out to me.) The intimacy Miller explores is the best kind of connection, honesty and closeness we can experience with our spouses, children, friends and even coworkers. He also writes a chapter on the "Five Kinds of Manipulators" to show the unhealthy behaviors we should avoid in ourselves and in potential relationships. Throughout the book, Miller's willingness to learn from others and to see himself as helpful to others has encouraged me to reframe my perception of my own relationships.

I finished the book feeling inspired by the many stories of healthy relationships and the insights gleaned from these examples. Between parents and children: Paul Young's story of rebuilding his family's trust after an affair had me in tears. Miller's picture of the relationship the Youngs have with their grown children now says it all: "In the past, when I've had dinner with them, I was surprised at how freely and openly they talked through whatever problem they were dealing with. It's as though their family was a refuge, a place where everybody could be themselves with no fear of being judged" (159).   Between husbands and wives: My favorite insight was Miller's musings on how his wife Betsy would not "complete him" a la Jerry Maguire. Instead, he writes that every human being has an eternal longing and thirst in their heart that will only be filled when Jesus returns. We can't expect even our closest relationship to fill that void, but we can enjoy experiencing that longing together with our spouse. There's also a bit where Miller writes up a business plan for his marriage that is way more awesome than it sounds. But I'm going to leave that as bait for you to get this book and read it with someone you love :)

It's not my habit to write glowing reviews without spending at least a paragraph or two on what I perceive as flaws in the book. So consider this my Valentine's Day present to the blogosphere. I truly enjoyed this book as a whole and am still musing, savoring and praying over its many facets.

*I would spend my own money on this book, but for the purposes of this review I received a free copy from the generous folks at BookLook in exchange for my honest opinion.*

Review of "Cassie & Caleb Discover God’s Wonderful Design"

I’m going to partially blame myself for misunderstanding what this book was. When I saw the siblings frolicking across stones in a frog pond on the cover of Cassie & Caleb Discover God’s Wonderful Design, I assumed it was going to be a devotional exploring how the wonders of nature reveal our Creator’s wisdom. When I read the back cover, which states that from reading these twenty devotions, “your children will learn: The creational principle that ‘God created man in his own image…male and female he created them’ (Genesis 1:27) is extraordinary!” I still did not realize this devotional, written by Susan Hunt and Richie Hunt and published by Moody, focuses specifically on gender roles and the differences between boys and girls. I don’t dispute the biological, hormonal and cultural differences between the sexes, but I’m sensitive about how I approach these differences with my boys, because I don’t want to cultivate potentially harmful stereotypes in their impressionable minds.

What this book is:

Similar to the Hunts’ book My ABC Bible Verses, which my oldest son enjoyed when he was in preschool, Cassie & Caleb teaches biblical principles by following siblings through their quintessential childhood experiences. At 96 pages, Cassie & Caleb is geared toward 5- to 8-year-olds. Unlike My ABC Bible Verses, it is illustrated with dreamy-eyed children in an array of nationalities. Each chapter also contains a two-page story, discussion questions, Catechism questions to memorize and a prayer prompt.

My Two Cents:

The inescapable theme of this book is that God created males to be the adventurous, leaders and breadwinners and females to be the tender, weaker nurturer in a supporting role to men. For example, as the family discusses Genesis 2 around the dinner table in one story, Caleb comments, “It seems to me… that Adam was not acting like a man. He didn’t lead the woman by reminding her of God’s Word” (62). Boys are also portrayed as more naturally rough and tumble than their delicate counterparts.  In another story, Caleb and his buddy sneak up behind Cassie and her friend and pummel them with mud until they scream. Instead of chiding them, the older, wiser adults chuckle at the mud-slingers with a “boys will be boys” attitude until the girls eventually laugh at their mud-soaked situation too. The story is innocent enough, and I agree that none of us should take ourselves too seriously, but something about it didn’t sit right with me. My three boys get muddy and barefoot in the back yard all summer long, but I would not condone them if they ambushed unsuspecting children, be they girls or boys. 

As with any stereotype, I don’t believe the one presented here fits every man or woman, nor do I believe God even intends that it should. However, I appreciated that the Hunts were careful to avoid being heavy-handed in their presentation of a complementarian viewpoint. For example, Dad is seen washing dishes, and Cassie’s friends are presented as having a variety of interests from softball and fishing to frilly clothes and the color pink. The book emphasizes equality between men and women despite their differing roles and promotes godly character for both men and women, touching on topics such as pride, forgiveness, and gratefulness. I liked that the main characters often make decisions against the grain of peer pressure. For example, in one episode, Caleb talks his friend out of sneaking into a scary movie after they’ve purchased tickets for an age-appropriate one. I think the book also emphasizes grace and provides models for healthy conflict resolution. For example, all of the characters, including Mom and Dad, have moments of weakness and sin, and all are able to own up to their mistakes or forgive each other their failings at the end of each story. For these reasons, I thought Cassie & Caleb was a step up from My ABC Bible Verses, in which the parents were perfect, the younger sister was always the little angel and the older brother the family’s Goofus.

Because I’d like to present a more nuanced take on what makes men and women different and how every individual can uniquely serve and express their maker, I probably won’t be reading this book to my "everything is black or white" 6-year-old just yet. However, I would recommend the book to families comfortable with a complementarian view and looking for a devotional that will likely capture young children’s attention with gospel-oriented stories.

A Give-Away... Might make a good Christmas gift!
I've been very blessed to find several sources of free Christian books and am excited to keep giving them away after I've reviewed them. Moody Publishers generously sent me a free copy of this book in exchange for my honest review, so I'd like to also give this book away to one lucky blog reader who answers one of following questions in the comment section below: (If you have trouble using Disqus, as some did during the last drawing, let me know on Facebook, and I'll post your comment for you.)

What kind of devotionals have you done or are you doing with your children?
What conversations have you had with your children about being a boy or girl?
What questions have your children asked you, and how have you answered?

UPDATE: The winner of this drawing is....

Review of "In This House We Will Giggle" by Courtney DeFeo

I'm always looking for inspiration and encouragement as I raise three energetic and unique little boys. The title of Courtney DeFeo's book, In This House We Will Giggle: Making Virtues, Love & Laughter a Daily Part of Your Family Life, attracted me because it signaled a book full of grace rather than legalistic "training." 

Overview

Each chapter in We Will Giggle is devoted to one of 12 virtues: love, joy, forgiveness, faith, patience, perseverance, respect, responsibility, service, humility, gratitude and generosity. These chapters begin with a short kid-friendly definition of the featured virtue before flowing into Courtney and her many mentors’ and friends’ thoughts on instilling this virtue into children.

In each chapter, DeFeo also offers a memory verse, talking points, and a lesson plan with discussion questions, a big family activity, shorter optional activities and a corresponding passage to read out of Sally Lloyd-Jones’ The Jesus Storybook Bible. There are also "60 Ways to Bring out the Giggles" sidebars sprinkled throughout the book. It was a lot to take in at first glance, and took me a couple of chapters before I settled into the rhythm of all the components. But instead of letting myself get overwhelmed, I took DeFeo’s advice from the preface to heart: “I encourage you to customize all these resources to fit the style and needs of your family, discarding anything that doesn’t work and mixing in your own creative ideas” (9).

What Spoke to Me

DeFeo’s chapters on Forgiveness, Patience, Perseverance and Humility especially resonated with me, as evidenced by the amount of my underlining, starring and scribbling in the margins. I was especially inspired by her prayer and vision for homes where “we hear their hearts and take responsibility for our part in any conflict. Homes where we never expect perfection but commit to continued growth, where we end difficult conversations with a hug, and where we always point one another back to the only perfect way: the love of Jesus” (51-52). Apologies are not just hollow niceties, but true forgiveness is a “bridge to personal freedom” with a focus on “building relationships” and “nurturing healthy hearts” (57). These are life lessons that many adults have never learned.

As a mom who often caves to every little whimper or trembling lip, I needed to hear DeFeo’s thoughts on the importance of instilling perseverance. The next time I’m tempted to rescue one of my sons from discomfort or struggle, I will have to borrow DeFeo’s line: “‘No, you cannot quit; take a break, but you must finish,’” in order to give them the “gift of character growth and a lifetime of hope” (117).

I’m also keen on her insights into the “tension between humility and confidence.” DeFeo says she never wants her girls to develop an attitude of superiority, yet she strives to raise them to be passionate in their identity in Christ and confident enough to “lead boldly from their gifts” (194). I’ve made this a part of my prayer for my sons as well.

What Didn't

I was a little disappointed that the idea of giggling as an addictive way to instill virtues and godly behavior wasn’t emphasized as much as I expected. I thought this would be the centerpiece of the book, but goofiness mostly appeared in the somewhat disjointed and distracting “60 Ways to Bring Out the Giggles” sidebars that peppered the already busy pages of the book. Having said that, I understand not every teaching moment can or should be full of raucous laughter. However, it made me think the title of the book was a ploy to set it apart from the many other great parenting books that present a similar message of grace.

Another little qualm I had stems from the fact that I’m raising three boys who love to wrestle, rough house or hole up in their rooms building with Legos for hours on end. They don’t care much about exploring their emotions or creating crafty gratitude tote bags or picture journals. (I wish they did, as that would be more fun for me!) DeFeo’s experience raising girls didn’t always translate to my own experience in the land of dirty hands and bug boxes. To her credit, DeFeo includes a few stories about her friend’s little boys. But overall, I found myself thinking, “I could never get this to work with mine.” And… regarding the book's visuals, the abundant daisy and curlicue design elements were a bit much for this minimalist designer’s taste.

My Take-Away

We Will Giggle has got my own creative juices flowing as I’m encouraged to teach virtues more deliberately in my own home. I like the idea of taking it slow, with one virtue emphasis per month, and plan to incorporate DeFeo’s simple, illuminating definitions and catch phrases into my own conversations. I would recommend this book to other moms, especially homeschooling mothers or even Sunday school teachers who are looking for interesting and generally low-budget activities and projects to help get kids thinking about and practicing the virtues Jesus exhibits.

*I received this book from Blogging ForBooks in exchange for an honest review.*