Character building 80s style

A Facebook friend of a friend suggested Handling Your Ups and Downs by Joy Wilt Berry for helping teach kids the appropriate responses to various situations and the emotions they evoke. I liked the sound of the title, and the Rainbow Brite illustrations kind of brought back some fond 80s memories of my childhood.

The book, which is out of print but easily available through Amazon third party sellers, is deceptively long at 127 pages. The book is broken into three chapters: Feeling Up, Feeling Down and Handling Your Downs. The final chapter is the longest and is comprised of various conflicts and how a child might handle them in both inappropriate and productive ways.

This is not an overtly Christian book, though I'd wager the author is a Christian for tackling so many children's books on character building. Wilt's approach to feelings is that it's perfectly natural and normal to have both good and bad feelings. Even a bad feeling, Wilt says often in the book, "sometimes makes a person do what needs to be done." This laid-back approach frames bad feelings, such as guilt, rejection or loneliness, as clues or signals that something can be done to help remedy the uncomfortable situation.

My five-year-old, Stephen, enjoyed this book, often requesting that we read more than one scenario each night. He was often able to relate to the situations in the book and share some of his own emotional struggles. In particular, I found the section on guilt (pp 44-49) to be a great springboard for discussion, as Joe and I have been working with Stephen on how to deal with guilt. Wilt's suggestion for handling guilt is concise and covers all the bases: "Admitting that you did something wrong, saying you're sorry, and (whenever possible) trying to make up for what you ave done are all good things to do when you feel guilty."

While this book might still be a little beyond Stephen's maturity level, I'm really glad to have found it. I plan to make it part of a regular cycle of devotional bedtime reading and will probably explore more of Joy Wilt's other books.

ZonderKidz Early Reader's New Testament

Stephen and I just finished reading through the 29 New Testament Bible stories presented in "easy reader" vocabulary in The Early Reader's Bible New Testament by V. Gilbert Beers. I suspect this version is out of print, as I got mine second hand on Amazon. However, the full bible version is available new.

Before I launch into how this Bible went over with Steve, I should clarify that this kids' Bible is written with a very limited vocabulary-- drawn from school standard lists for beginning readers. The stories, which are about three short pages long, introduce no more than five new words each. Comprehension and discussion questions follow each story.

I liked this Bible for several reasons: 

• The paperback is lightweight and small enough to bring on trips without adding a ton of weight to Stephen's backpack. 
• The stories are simply written, so I didn't really have to paraphrase (though at times, I had to enrich with extra details to make them more interesting). 
• The comprehension questions showed me how much Stephen was (or wasn't) absorbing.
• Some of the stories included were less commonly included in children's bibles: The parable of the rich fool, Satan tempting Jesus for 40 days in the wilderness, Philip and the Eithiopian Eunich, Paul's writing to Philemon on behalf of Onesimus. Also, it included Mary's conversation with the resurrected but not yet ascended Christ.
• Stephen seemed to like reading this at first too. We could often read a few stories per night. When he was very sleepy, one story was quick enough to squeeze in.

A few things I didn't like:

• Because of the goal to adhere to public school standard reading lists, some of the stories seemed a little flat to me. Now, if Stephen was actually able to read, I think the stories would be great. As I mentioned earlier
• The discussion questions seemed to lead the same answers every time: Show God you love Him by telling others about Him, singing songs to praise Him, being good etc. This is an excellent message to drive home, but I think Stephen's eyes glazed over pretty quickly when it came to life application. He always wanted to discuss the story itself in more depth.
• Terri Steiger's artwork, while plentiful, was not really my style. The figures all look kind of lumpy and overtly angelic or lumpy and overtly naughty. On the plus side, the rather nondescript illustrations did not distract Stephen from the story...something that tends to happen with a lot of other books we read. There is also a significant lack of multicultural faces in the life application pictures.

My final take:

This is a good story bible to get for cheap (I got mine for a penny plus 3.99 shipping off Goodwill) if you've got a beginning reader or a listener with a short attention span. It contains a good selection of New Testament stories, which is great if you're like me and often start reading children's bibles at Adam and Eve and then rarely make it to the New Testament.

Library Bag Favorite: Adventurous Alphabet

Just wanted to get up a quick post about an adorable ABC picture book, LMNO Peas, by Keith Baker. We checked this out at our local library last week, and I'm considering buying it because of the whimsical painted illustrations, clever and quick-paced rhymes and unconventional approach of using actions rather than things to demonstrate each letter sound. The peas in this book pursue many adventurous and interesting occupations, from underwater diving to zoology. I liked that many of the words promoted exploring and creating- two activities I hope to champion in my household!

My five-year-old and my two-year-old both requested this book several times.

Purpose-driven simplicity: Some thoughts on "Organized Simplicity"

So the book I was trying to find when I found Richard Foster's "Freedom of Simplicity," was Tsh Oxenreider's Organized Simplicity, which I've borrowed from the library and am reading now.

Despite the shared keyword "simplicity," these two books are worlds apart: one written by a theologian, the other by a homeschooling homemaking maven and blogger. Yet, if I were to draw up a Venn diagram, there is actually quite a bit of overlap between the two books. Both authors are Christian, both advocate not buying in to the materialistic, debt-inducing culture of "more," both argue that busyness isn't a sign of success, and both urge a single, unified purpose in all we do. Oxenreider views this purpose as something a married couple should determine together for their entire family, and to even draw up a formal family purpose statement to serve as a reminder of that "true north."  While Foster's book is written for hungry, "meat"-eating Christians, Oxenreider tries to appeal to a broader audience by leaving life's ultimate purpose open ended. 

While my husband initially chaffed against the idea of writing up a mission statement, I liked the idea of pondering what kind of memories I want my three boys to have of their childhoods. I want to consider what traits, values and even culture I want to leave them as a legacy. Figuring out what should make our little Parrino clan unique goes a long way toward actually making deliberate decisions and actions toward becoming what we envision. And that leads to a simpler life as we shed obligations, time commitments, and material possessions that run counter to our purpose. So, I decided to try my hand at jotting down some dreams for my family. I have not arrived at the concise mission statement stage yet-- and to be honest, I might not ever if I can't bring Joe around to the idea of it-- but at least my scattered wishful thought are starting to take shape as a more complete vision for how our family should operate. 

Just for fun, I'll share my hopes with the blogosphere:

I want to...

• Cook with my boys once a week
• Send them outside to play every day that's dry and above freezing
• Cultivate daily journaling once they're able to write
• Read Bible and pray before bed
• Go on monthly daddy-son or mommy-son dates with each boy
• As soon as Stephen can drive, pay for he and Rockam to grab dinner together
• As soon as Rockam can drive, do the same for Oliver
• World travel, possibly alternating years with Joe and each boy
• Create a culture of giving over getting or wanting
• Weekly evening unplugged to read or create
• Each son can have one extracurricular of his choice at a time
• We'll appreciate nature and art
• We'll delve into history and geography
• We'll appreciate and accept other Christian traditions, taking note of the true, lovely and noble in other believers
• We prize creativity, humility and sincerity 
• Holidays will center on meaningful, historically accurate, spiritual and fun activities-- not on consumerism or excessive gluttony.
• We'll all learn to budget and give away money
• We'll champion the oppressed
• We'll respect and honor women
• We'll nurture a servant heart and love our neighbors
• We'll entertain dinner guests weekly and treat them generously and ask them lots of questions 
• We'll try new foods and value healthy eating
• We'll fast and find ways to experience solidarity with oppressed people groups
• We'll get comfortable praying together
• We'll hike, picnic, explore and camp
• We'll live abroad for a season

Feedom of Simplicity: A Money Experiment

As I mentioned Sunday, I wanted to take some time to mention some of Foster's specific proposals for living a simpler, more God-centered life. I was surprised how specific he got in the second half of the book. Indeed, Foster himself cautions readers not to seize on any of his proposals as rules by which to judge or control others. He warns against "our tendency to turn any expression of our simplicity into a new legalism. How quickly we calcify what should always remain alive and changing." Yet, in his defense, the author says that to resist laying down any practical guidelines means we reinforce the legalism of the status quo. New Testament writers like the apostle Peter felt the liberty to address issues of their time and culture (braided hair and fancy robes anyone?) as excesses unbecoming for a Christian. Just as Peter spoke to particulars of his day, "our task is to discern what constitute ostentatious elitism today, and speak to that situation" and to "walk the narrow path of precision without legalism."

I thought I could just clack out a round up of practical tips I gleaned from this book, but I've been working on this post for a couple of hours now (with numerous interruptions from the littles) and I think I might just have to digest this book more gradually over several posts. Foster launches a discussion of specific financial steps we can take toward simplicity with the topic of voluntary poverty. This was a little jarring, even from where I sat reading in my modest starter home and stained decade-old sofa. Foster said that choosing to live with nothing was akin to pulling off the Band-Aid all at once. It hurts, but then once you're free of possessions, you don't really have to think about what to keep or give away. Simplicity, right? Of course, this lifestyle, adopted by Francis of Assisi and Mother Teresa, needs to be born out of a specific calling from God. So, for the rest of us, Foster proposes:

A tiny experiment in voluntary poverty that many of us could do with genuine profit as God prompts us. We can go through our home, find one possession that we value, and consider, "Am I growing too attached to this object? Is it becoming a treasure to me?" Having examined our hearts before the Lord, let us give it away. We must not rationalize by saying, "But after searching my heart I know that it is clearly not a treasure to me, and so I don't need to give it away." If it is truly not our treasure, we will not mind in the least giving it away; and if it has become our treasure, we will want to give it away for our soul's sake. Also we will pray for the person who receives our little gift, that it will be a blessing, and not a hindrance, to his or her walk with God.

So, my immediate thought is that this little experiment, if applied to everything we own, would ultimately lead to voluntary poverty as every item we own is either a treasure to be severed or not a treasure and therefore easy to give a way! But I decided to try it anyway.

 A couple of weeks ago, I wrote a review of Becoming, the magazine Bible for women, and mentioned that I planned to give it away. Well, I'm ashamed to say it has sat on a little table in my living room ever since. It is clearly not a treasure to me, and yet, I never took deliberate steps to give it away, as I felt moved to do! Happily, my good friend, Tracey, is coming over after work to pick up the bible and bring it to jail with her, where she ministers to women hungry for God. I'm praying that this magazine, thick with simple articles and scripture, will feed one or many women-- I believe that the Spartan environment in the jail makes many of them hungry to read.



So, my next tiny "experiment" is a little different. I've decided to forgo buying Stephen's kindergarten pictures. I take tons of photos of all three of my sons, many of which can be seen on one of my other blogs, The Daily Munchie. I was filling out the envelope for the photos, due today no less, when I realized that I don't have to purchase a photo package. It's not a sign I don't love my son or want to capture memories of him at each milestone. And my relatives won't love me any less if I give them candid shots of my sons instead of the posed, somewhat awkward portrait the professional took. Now, don't get me wrong, I like to support local businesses and believe that artists, like portrait photographers, do important work. But I decided to listen this time and to get into the "divine Center," and I found out I don't need to possess those photos after all.

Link Likes:11/11/13

I'm still getting into the swing of things on this blog, but here's a few interesting reads that caught my eye from the last two weeks.

Comparisons Kill
Some lovely, heartening imagery Ann Voskamp, with How the Hidden Dangers of Comparison are Killing Us (and Our Daughters): The Measuring Stick Principle

"The world isn’t a forest of measuring sticks. The world is a forest of burning bushes. Everything isn’t a marker to make you feel behind or ahead; everything is a flame to make you see GOD is here. That God is working through this person’s life, that God is redeeming that person’s life, that God is igniting this work, that God is present here in this mess, that God is using even this."

History of Sleep
This post from the Slumber Wise blog made me feel like my nursing momma schedule of reading or praying at 2 a.m. isn't so awful after all.  The most interesting part of this post is the comment section, where hundreds of readers confirm they still sleep like their ancestors.:
Your Ancestors Didn't Sleep Like You - from the Slumber Wise blog

We used to sleep in two shorter periods, over a longer range of night. This range was about 12 hours long, and began with a sleep of three to four hours, wakefulness of two to three hours, then sleep again until morning.

Church without God
I found the photos that accompany this article require a chilling double-take. Reading this should spur some serious reflection on the true reasons we attend church and how we "do" church:
The Rise of Atheist "Mega-Churches" - An AP article by Gillian Flaccus.

During the service, attendees stomped their feet, clapped their hands and cheered as Jones and Evans led the group through rousing renditions of "Lean on Me," ''Here Comes the Sun" and other hits that took the place of gospel songs. Congregants dissolved into laughter at a get-to-know-you game that involved clapping and slapping the hands of the person next to them and applauded as members of the audience spoke about community service projects they had started in LA.

Backpack Culture
And something lighter-hearted for my fellow late-Gen Xers/early-Millennials:
Forrest Wickman's  When Did Two-Strapping Get Cooler Than One-Strapping?
(For the record, I remember switching from one strap to two when I entered college in 1996)

Refections on "Freedom of Simplicity" (Part 1)

I've mentioned in previous posts my interest in simplicity. Lately, I've been pondering how I can simplify my life, pare down my possessions and live more purposefully. Over the last year or so, I've also been grappling with social justice and how to live a good life without diminishing the lives of others.

I stumbled upon Richard J. Foster's Freedom of Simplicity: Finding Harmony in a Complex World while searching my library's ebook catalog for another book with "simplicity" in its title. I devoured this book in three days and feel like God must have arranged it that way!

"Freedom of Simplicity," despite being originally penned in the late 80s, felt so current and resonant to me. Foster spends the first portion of the book putting the idea of simplicity within the context of discipleship and seeking the kingdom of God first. He emphasizes the need for having a single eye for Christ (Matt 6:22) and striving to find ourselves in Him, or in obedience to the "Divine Center," as he puts it. The author takes readers on a whirlwind tour of Christians through out history who practiced the spiritual discipline of simplicity to show that intentional living and Christian minimalism aren't new concepts. I found myself highlighting the names of theses saints who went before, eager to learn and read more about their lives.

After a rather lengthy disclaimer that simplicity will look different for each individual based on the specific place, time and ministry in which God has placed them, Foster takes a risk and opens up a world of specific examples of what simplicity might look like in our lives. He touches on the culture of consumerism, materialism, busyness in order to be approved by others, unsustainable habits, exaggerated speech, social injustice and environmental destruction, all of which prevent Christians from a simple, single, effective walk with Christ.

I won't lie, some of his proposals made me squirm... especially the chapter on finances, but through it all, I felt my heart nodding slowly in agreement. I want to unpack some of the things Foster writes in my next post and some of my own ideas spurred by the practical suggestions he offers for living blamelessly in the world, but not of it. I would love to get together with some good friends and digest this book in community... anyone interested?